Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, Celebrate It!
How to show up for your kids by celebrating their wins.
I feel fortunate to have been raised in a family that celebrated everything: Groundhog Day, half-birthdays, the Lunar New Year. If it was St. Patrick’s Day, my mom turned our cereal milk green; Cinco de Mayo always had a festive table-scape; National Pizza Day meant that dinner was going to be extra delicious that night; and, there wasn’t a first day of Spring that didn’t have fresh flowers around the house and a note in my lunchbox celebrating that we had made it through Winter.
But, this mentality of making every little thing significant went beyond that. If I was having trouble with friends at school, my mom would pick me up and take me out for lunch during recess time so that I didn’t have to feel alone. If I aced a test, my dinner was served on a red celebration plate. When the cold weather got me down, mom would blast the car heater and roll down every window to “simulate summer.” To this day, she keeps a yearly journal documenting exciting memories, significant moments, and even those times that made us particularly sad. Then, the following year, she’ll shoot me a text to remind me—“This time last year, we were packing for our trip to New York” or “On this day, four years ago, you officially moved to Dallas”.
My mom challenges me to remember. She invites me to reminisce. She enables me to recognize that my life’s journey is a collection of vivid, vibrant memories and experiences that can so easily be forgotten in the day-to-day shuffle. She enables me to realize the necessity of celebration.
With our kids more over-programmed and over-scheduled than ever before, it’s a challenge to complete the day’s routine let alone carve out time for additional fanfare or journaling.
But, those small moments of celebration are going to formulate a lifetime of memories and shape how our children view the world and their role in it.
Right now, we have a super unique opportunity to utilize our dedicated time and proximity together to create and document special memories, no matter how big or how small.
In my classroom and school community, celebrations are routine—they are both encouraged and expected. Valentine’s Day is a time for students to show appreciation for one another. Celebrations of culture and heritage are marked by a community-wide luncheon alongside vibrant bulletin board displays of heroes from all backgrounds. When I taught Language Arts, I was known to commemorate National Bubble Wrap Day with my students and do a special writing activity in honor of National Donut Day. To this day, I still have kiddos who come back and tell me what those celebrations meant to them.
They remember.
Celebrating your child’s large and small accomplishments can and should hold the same value in your family’s life as it does in their school. For example, when a student who has been really struggling with understanding how to formulate a complete sentence finally gets it, I make that a huge deal. Smelly stickers affixed to 100% spelling tests or the comment of “This is a refrigerator paper” when an essay is masterfully crafted are small moments of celebration in my classroom. On a larger scale, publicly recognizing students who achieve perfect attendance, earn a place on the Honor Roll, or demonstrate an exorbitant amount of kindness and compassion are ways to celebrate academic and citizenship milestones.
So, when your child earns a stellar report card or shows improvement in a challenging area, or when they wake up on time on their own multiple days in a row, celebrate! Use those moments for positive reinforcement to make an enormous impact on their motivation, determination, and perseverance long-term.
Two Simple Ways to Integrate More Celebratory Moments
Celebrate Improvement
Preach progress over perfection. Not every student is going to earn straight As. And, that is a-okay! Work with your child’s teacher to determine the threshold of their individual achievement level, and celebrate when they reach it. A note on their lunch-time napkin (since we are sans lunchboxes for a while), a card for them to find on the bathroom counter, an ice cream treat after homework—small moments of celebration over time lead to big accomplishments long-term.
Recognize Random Acts of Kindness
When you see your child do something positive for someone else, let them know that you noticed. When I see a student hold the door open for their classmates or pick up a piece of trash on the play yard, I go out of my way to thank them. To let them know how much I appreciate their contribution to our community.
If your child does their homework without a fight, empties the dishwasher before you have to ask, or shows an extra amount of grace when their sibling is trying their patience, celebrate these character-building moments in real-time with a high-five or an extra hug.
As you embrace this new role as homeschool teacher/mom, remember that, above all, your kids just want to know that you are proud of them.
Tensions are high and we are all feeling a little extra emotional these days so give them a little more slack for their mistakes and show them a lot more enthusiasm for their successes, no matter how big or small.
