Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, Celebrate It!
How to show up for your kids by celebrating their wins.
I feel fortunate to have been raised in a family that celebrated everything: Groundhog Day, half-birthdays, the Lunar New Year. If it was St. Patrick’s Day, my mom turned our cereal milk green; Cinco de Mayo always had a festive table-scape; National Pizza Day meant that dinner was going to be extra delicious that night; and, there wasn’t a first day of Spring that didn’t have fresh flowers around the house and a note in my lunchbox celebrating that we had made it through Winter.
But, this mentality of making every little thing significant went beyond that. If I was having trouble with friends at school, my mom would pick me up and take me out for lunch during recess time so that I didn’t have to feel alone. If I aced a test, my dinner was served on a red celebration plate. When the cold weather got me down, mom would blast the car heater and roll down every window to “simulate summer.” To this day, she keeps a yearly journal documenting exciting memories, significant moments, and even those times that made us particularly sad. Then, the following year, she’ll shoot me a text to remind me—“This time last year, we were packing for our trip to New York” or “On this day, four years ago, you officially moved to Dallas”.
My mom challenges me to remember. She invites me to reminisce. She enables me to recognize that my life’s journey is a collection of vivid, vibrant memories and experiences that can so easily be forgotten in the day-to-day shuffle. She enables me to realize the necessity of celebration.
With our kids more over-programmed and over-scheduled than ever before, it’s a challenge to complete the day’s routine let alone carve out time for additional fanfare or journaling.
But, those small moments of celebration are going to formulate a lifetime of memories and shape how our children view the world and their role in it.
Right now, we have a super unique opportunity to utilize our dedicated time and proximity together to create and document special memories, no matter how big or how small.
In my classroom and school community, celebrations are routine—they are both encouraged and expected. Valentine’s Day is a time for students to show appreciation for one another. Celebrations of culture and heritage are marked by a community-wide luncheon alongside vibrant bulletin board displays of heroes from all backgrounds. When I taught Language Arts, I was known to commemorate National Bubble Wrap Day with my students and do a special writing activity in honor of National Donut Day. To this day, I still have kiddos who come back and tell me what those celebrations meant to them.
They remember.
Celebrating your child’s large and small accomplishments can and should hold the same value in your family’s life as it does in their school. For example, when a student who has been really struggling with understanding how to formulate a complete sentence finally gets it, I make that a huge deal. Smelly stickers affixed to 100% spelling tests or the comment of “This is a refrigerator paper” when an essay is masterfully crafted are small moments of celebration in my classroom. On a larger scale, publicly recognizing students who achieve perfect attendance, earn a place on the Honor Roll, or demonstrate an exorbitant amount of kindness and compassion are ways to celebrate academic and citizenship milestones.
So, when your child earns a stellar report card or shows improvement in a challenging area, or when they wake up on time on their own multiple days in a row, celebrate! Use those moments for positive reinforcement to make an enormous impact on their motivation, determination, and perseverance long-term.
Two Simple Ways to Integrate More Celebratory Moments
Celebrate Improvement
Preach progress over perfection. Not every student is going to earn straight As. And, that is a-okay! Work with your child’s teacher to determine the threshold of their individual achievement level, and celebrate when they reach it. A note on their lunch-time napkin (since we are sans lunchboxes for a while), a card for them to find on the bathroom counter, an ice cream treat after homework—small moments of celebration over time lead to big accomplishments long-term.
Recognize Random Acts of Kindness
When you see your child do something positive for someone else, let them know that you noticed. When I see a student hold the door open for their classmates or pick up a piece of trash on the play yard, I go out of my way to thank them. To let them know how much I appreciate their contribution to our community.
If your child does their homework without a fight, empties the dishwasher before you have to ask, or shows an extra amount of grace when their sibling is trying their patience, celebrate these character-building moments in real-time with a high-five or an extra hug.
As you embrace this new role as homeschool teacher/mom, remember that, above all, your kids just want to know that you are proud of them.
Tensions are high and we are all feeling a little extra emotional these days so give them a little more slack for their mistakes and show them a lot more enthusiasm for their successes, no matter how big or small.
5 Tips for Homeschooling Your Kids Like a Pro During Coronavirus Quarantine
Coronavirus has given parents a number of new roles including teachers and homeschooling experts. Juggling these new roles and ensuring your kids still grow academically is challenging, to put it lightly. Integrate these five teaching tips and you will both thrive!
Coronavirus Is No Match For Your Parenting!
Here in San Francisco, we’re in the thick of the official COVID-19 shelter-in-place. It’s been toilsome, I’m not going to lie. If you’re anything like me, the allure of “Netflix and chill” wore off after the first 12-hours, and now you want to climb the walls. And, if you’re a parent, that’s a whole bunch of minutes in which you have been playing mom, dad, cook, housekeeper, teacher, friend, counselor, referee, circus clown, and about 17 other odd jobs you never fathomed would pepper the landscape of your March 2020.
As an educator, I’ve been marveling at watching how my students are coping with the shelter-in-place. For some, the very idea of not being with their friends, surrounded by the sounds, shenanigans, smells, and sights of their school environment leaves them blind. They don’t know where to look, what to do, how to even begin learning from a distance.
For others, the idea of being on their own and removed from the performance pressures and social anxiety that comes from working amongst their peers is the deep breath that they have, for years, been waiting for. They are doing their work, engaging with their teachers via Zoom, and all around, living their best student lives. Still, others are as apathetic to distance learning as they are to classroom learning—school has never been their thing, no matter how you package it up. And, COVID-19 isn’t going to change that.
Fair enough.
So, we work together, you and I, to do what we can. To engage our kids to the best of our abilities from afar or up close at home. And, to do so with as much grace and flair as possible, here are my top five ways to thrive both during and after COVID-19:
Never be above negotiating.
If there is one single thing that I have learned during my 17 years in education, it’s that you’ve got to be ready to compromise. Does this mean that you are giving in to the theatrics of your nine-year-old when they only want to watch YouTube and eat Cheetos for breakfast? Nope. But, does it save you from finding yourself at an impasse every five minutes as you try to ramrod that Vocabulary worksheet down their throats? Definitely.
Barter with them—40-minutes of Math work for 15-minutes of FaceTime with their friends. Silent read for 30-minutes (they should do a total of 60-minutes a day), and then take a body break (check out www.gonoodle.com). Seven carrot sticks at lunch before they have their Takis or make their bed before they jump on Instagram in the morning. The more control they feel, especially in times of things being out of their control, the easier it will be to maintain both balance and normalcy.
Set-up a schedule.
Perhaps your child’s teacher has already given you one which mimics their daily classroom routine. Awesome! If not, I would highly recommend reaching out to them and seeing if they can provide you with a framework. Or, develop one yourself that includes dedicated time to each subject with allocated breaks in-between. Have your child be a part of the planning process—put it up on a whiteboard in the kitchen, on a large sheet of butcher paper in the living room, or lipstick it on the bathroom mirror. Your kids are craving structure, all of the time, but especially during this time of uncertainty. So, the more you can establish a routine, the better!
And, get creative with alarms. Gone are the days of a basic kitchen counter egg timer, take a peek at these links to online countdown clocks that use visualization to help kiddos understand the concept of counting down the minutes:
Designate workspaces.
The boundaries of going to school and then coming home from school are blurred during this time of sheltering in a single place. Create a space that is for “school only.” This can be a section of the kitchen table, a corner in your child’s bedroom, a folding table erected in the living room. Make that their school space, and after breakfast, that’s where your child goes to complete their work. When they take breaks, or when the school day is done, have them practice organizing their materials, pushing in their chairs, etc. just as their teachers would request before they change subjects or head out to recess. Having a specific workspace will also help them to get into school mode versus just hanging out and completing a worksheet or two. With this long gap in direct instruction from their teachers, we need to make sure that their heads and hearts are in the game, albeit remotely.
Have fun.
Fractions can be studied while baking cookies and measuring the ingredients. Counting steps, leaves, trees, rocks, stop signs on a daily neighborhood walk will support number sense. Reading a story together and writing an alternative ending is great for Language Arts. Have your child film and narrate a family reality show to practice public speaking. Dance-offs are great in lieu of P.E. class, a family game of charades to understand vocabulary, or completing a jigsaw puzzle as a means of developing fine motor skills.
We, as teachers, want you to help your kids complete the content that we provide to you during this time of distance learning, but we also recognize the enormity of value that comes from time spent together. Conversations that cultivate communication are essential to your child’s ongoing development.
Be patient.
It’s not going to be easy every day, all day. But, it’s not always easy in the classroom, either. There are plenty of days when lessons go awry; kids have meltdowns; someone throws up while another spills a bucket of paint. Do what you can. When you can. How you can.