3 Tips For Students To Connect With Their New Teachers

“There’s only two things that Mrs. Essalat cannot stand.”

A familiar phrase from my annual “Welcome to Seventh Grade” spiel. There were, of course, lots of things that I wanted my students to know. I wanted them to understand my expectations regarding respect for self and others. I wanted them to know my feelings about the language they used and the words they said. I wanted them to know that I would be holding them to a high level of accountability regarding their writing and the power of the pen.

These were all things that we would discuss time and time again. But, before we could get to any of those, they needed to know that my threshold for dealing with two things, in particular, was very, very low.

Throw-up and spiders.

Now, as I have mentioned countless times, I taught Middle School. And, while my students almost always showed me both kindness and respect, they did love a good practical joke at my expense.

So, when a remote controlled tarantula went zooming across the classroom, and a pile of rubber vomit found its way onto my desk—I wasn’t surprised. Terrified, yes. But shocked? No way.

Was their humor cruel? Was I naïve in opening up to them, leaving myself vulnerable? Should their hijinks have caused me to change the way I still, to this day, interact with my students in real and candid ways?

The answer is D: none of the above.

In my 17 years in education, the best and most powerful vehicle I have honed for connecting with my students is being myself. Zero pretense; zero pretending. Because, when it comes to relating to kids, especially for our adolescents in the room, we need to be ourselves. Sharing our flaws and our fears are essential elements of connection. For kids to form true bonds they need to know the truth of whom they are bonding with.

In a world of filters and phony backdrops, we need to ground this generation in the reality that life is often messy and scary and imperfect—a winding, bumpy, unpredictable road. We need to show them that it is through perseverance, and asking for help, that we are able to pull ourselves and each other out of the muck and mire and find the silver lining. That when a spider falls from the ceiling onto a student’s desk, and I-- or you-- are the only adult in the room to save them from said aggressive arachnid, we harness our courage and power to tackle any obstacle.

But, how?

Communication is key. Getting to know each other and developing a shared appreciation for who we are is crucial. Being honest and transparent is the only way to truly accomplish this.

So, as we face a school year ahead that is, at best, going to be small cohorts of students and teachers, shrouded in face masks and shields, separated by plastic partitions and 6ft. of socially distant space. Or, at worst, divided by what could be many miles and zip codes and computer screens and Zoom meeting IDs as we traverse distance learning, it is more crucial now than ever before for teachers to find ways to connect with our students, and vice versa. 

Easier said than done? Not really. Take a look at a few tips and tricks below for helping to connect your kiddos with their new teachers:

1. I’m always espousing the necessity of having your kids write and write and write. So, use this as a vehicle for a get-to-know you game. Pen pals can very much be a current trend, so have your child write their new teacher a letter. Questions for them to consider could be:

a. What’s their favorite subject?

b. What challenges them the most?

c. What is their ideal learning space (i.e. lots of hands-on activities, a quiet space, group projects, etc.)

d. What are they looking forward to this year?

e. What scares them the most?

Be sure to have them end their letter by posing some questions for reply from their teacher to encourage an ongoing dialogue.

2. Set-up a group Zoom with other friends and classmates. We’re doing this in my school community as a way to introduce new kids to a few of their classmates so that they recognize some familiar faces on the first day of school. Gather together a group and invite your children’s new teacher to join in the fun. Plan on having one parent be the facilitator and be sure to have a few icebreaker games at the ready to help fill any awkward conversation gaps (they generally tend to happen!).

3. Arrange a socially distanced get together between you, your child, and their teacher. We are going to have families sign-up for appointments to come by our school yard and pick-up their textbooks, schedules, and even technology. They will also have the chance during this to meet their teachers, in-person (with all the necessary precautions, of course!). I believe that it is really important for our kids to make a connection with their teachers prior to the year commencing, especially one that is solely distance learning for many. With safety measures in place, both teacher and student will have a few moments together to talk about what’s in store for the coming year.

Maybe your school is planning something similar? If not, how about reaching out to your child’s teacher to see if they would be willing to meet you and your kiddo for a few moments, at a park or common space near campus, as a get-to-know-you session—to better understand what’s in store. The time together will help reinforce crucial details and expectations for the year to come, and it will give your kiddo the opportunity to ask any questions that might be causing them undue stress or anxiety. 

Whether it’s spiders, or vomit, or COVID, or murder hornets, or transferring to a new school—this year is going to bring with it a bundle of fears and worries for our children. Let’s face these with them, together, reassuring them that we are going to do everything in our power to keep them safe and protected so that they can continue learning and growing. And, while we do that, let’s also hold one another accountable in talking with them about how we are challenging our own uncertainties. Community is formed through shared experiences—let’s let transparency be a guiding force in building healthy schools and brave students.