3 Ways to Prepare Your Kids For Long Term Success
No pajamas on Zoom.
This was part of a memo that I sent out to my school community a few weeks back. Granted, there were other things discussed—a school-wide town hall meeting, our upcoming lap-a-thon fundraiser, etc.—but, the pajama part, in particular, was a sticking point for me.
Why?
In the midst of a global pandemic—where many of us still remain relatively sheltered-in-place. Where students are separated from their classmates by computer screens, and classroom cohorts, and 6ft. of space—why-oh-why do I insist on no pajamas?
As I say it aloud, it sounds nit-picky. Inconsequential, perhaps. Is that really what I want to hang my hat on in this current state of affairs?
Yep. I do.
Let me explain. In my book, The Overly Honest Teacher, you may have already come to find that I discuss, with frequency, the significance of boundaries and parameters. The essentiality of processes and protocols. The necessity of students understanding that there needs to be overt and dedicated efforts made in them showing up, ready to learn, prepared to contribute, especially in these times of remote learning.
Pajamas are a gateway to sleeping. To disengagement. To lounging around and giving our minds a break. And, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that … on summer vacation, the weekend, or just about any time that isn’t tethered to being “in school.”
But, just as I reiterate time and time again that all kids should have a designated workspace at-home that is for remote learning only—not gaming, nor streaming, nor TikToking—so, too should their attire be that which will enable their minds to focus, their brains and bodies to be turned on to learning.
Now, I am not one to talk about wardrobe. At school, you can find me wearing sneakers, jeans, and hoodies more often than not. Quite the fashion evolution from my first year as a principal when I wore high heels most days because that is what I thought I “should” wear. What my profession and position demanded of me. But, the practicality of running up and down stairs, chasing after emergencies, and basically being on my feet from 7AM to 7PM was wildly impractical and didn’t serve me well in what I was supposed to accomplish on the day-to-day.
The morale of my high heeled hutzpah? Wearing something that got in the way of me being able to complete everything that my job required of me to the best of my ability was just plain foolish.
Which has led me to contemplate how our students let certain things get in their paths of academic success.
-Apathy
-Peer pressure
-Fear of failure
-Digital distraction
-Undernourishment
-Pajamas (or other unconducive attire)
-Lack of sleep
-Disorganization
-Lack of preparation
The list could go on, but as a teacher, these are some of the most common aggressors that prey upon my students’ paths to true academic enlightenment. And, just as fervent as these pitfalls are when we are engaged in in-person learning, so do they sadly thrive in remote learning, as well.
Because, as abnormal as distance learning feels, the threads of commonality between this new normal and the school routine we have previously come to rely upon really aren’t that different in a lot of ways.
So, how do we enable our kids to cast off their Achilles' [high] heels and instead embrace that which will lead them to long-term success?
We hold them accountable when they begin to stray off-course. If your child appears to be assimilating to their newly found apathy, call them out on it.
“I’m noticing that you seem less enthusiastic about school. What’s up?”
“Your care and concern for being a successful student has always been one of my favorite characteristics about you. I don’t see that as often anymore. How come?”
“I know that it can be hard to always stay energetic and engaged in your schoolwork, but you have so many important things up ahead. How can I help you keep your eye on the prize (i.e. high school admission, Honor Roll placement, scholarships or other merits)?”
We risk the argument or clap back from our kids as we help them recognize the importance of showing up, doing their best, displaying their best, at all times. Especially in conversations with pre- and post-adolescents, these can be unpleasant, at best. But, the long-term consequences of students who lack a strong sense of work ethic will follow them well past their elementary, middle, and high school years. Setting boundaries with your kids is essential—even when it feels like a fight.
We get into the trenches and help them.
Struggling with disorganization and routine?
Come up with a game plan that both you and your child adhere to, even in the busiest and most chaotic of times.
Struggling with a fear of failing?
Be vulnerable and share with your kids times when you, yourself, have had to overcome moments of anxiety and alarm when things didn’t go as planned or you didn’t have all of the answers.
Struggling with exhaustion during the school day?
Reset bedtimes, curfews, and the powering down of devices to enable your kids to get the sleep that they need to propel their brains and bodies for the day of learning to follow.
Struggling with making time for breakfast?
Prepare it the night before, and find a few moments in the morning to have your child eat something. Protein, carbs—they have long, arduous days ahead of them, and without the proper fuel, everything they are taught is going to take a backseat to their hunger pains and distracted pangs.
Am I forsaking the formality of my position as a principal by not dressing to the nines each day? Are my students’ freedoms being somehow stifled by my not allowing them to wear pajamas on their Zoom meetings? Not a chance, for it is our job to model for our kids the right way to approach our responsibilities, to tackle the hurdles and tasks put into our paths daily.
So, see ya later, stilettos.
